I have come to the conclusion that baby photos and million-dollar ideas are the only reasons you people show up here. I am a people pleaser...well, when that means pleasing people by doing something I want to do. If it's something I don't want to do, I'm more of a people disappointer. I was thinking of getting a group of women together who are of like mind and calling ourselves the Disappointer Sisters, but then I didn't know what we would do other than be less than everyone had hoped. So in a way, we are achieving our goals without even having formed a group or done anything at all. I am succeeding without even trying here, people. Be amazed.
Why do I get so distracted by my inane thoughts? That's a great question that I will not answer. I will, however, give you some of the best ideas of RC's and my life..which isn't saying much. Sit down and do not take a sip of a drink for fear of spitting all over your monitor when the genius of these ideas is processed by your brain. And don't act like you're not impressed.
1. Lint-sulation.
Need a cost-effective and readily available form of insulation for your home? Fiberglass is itchy, asbestos is cancer-y, but Lint-sulation is cheap, affordable, and not expensive. Plus it's right there in the lint trap of your dryer! In abundance! It's also mildly-to-entirely flammable and requires the washing and drying of a lot of towels and socks to harvest enough to insulate your house, but you were going to wash those socks anyway, right? I hope? Please say yes.
2. Sandwich Shops
I got a text, randomly, from RC the other day that stated, "If I owned a sandwich shop, I'd call it The Daily Grinder." Just so you know, there was no lead-up conversation before this gem of a message appeared on my phone's screen. This is just how RC's brain works (and I use that word loosely). I replied back, "I would open one called Hogan's Gyros." (You have to pronounce gyros correctly to really get the full benefit of that one.) Thank goodness we found each other. Who else would put up with us? Separately we are weirdos; together we're perfectly matched weirdos.
3. Suture Yourself
RC's idea to open a walk-in, self-service clinic. If you need stitches but don't want all those pesky bills and, you know, thoroughly trained and board-certified doctors that come along with those bills, then Suture Yourself is the one-stop shop for do-it-yourselfers who are bleeding profusely. We'll have a full array of sanitized-by-lighters-and-rubbing-alcohol sewing needles and your choice of thread colors! We'll also have a staple gun available if you don't have the patience for threading needles, and some Superglue...but we can't guarantee that you'll be able to get the cap off.
4. ComaToast
Ever have one of those mornings when you think,"Screw it! I'm crawling back into bed and shutting out the world!" Well, then ComaToast is for you. I was going to lace some bread with Ambien or something of that sort, but then I realized that would only be "SnoozyToast" and damn it, that's just not good enough. So we're going full-on horse tranquilizer here. Toast it, butter it up, shove it in your face, and we'll see you next Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure we had a few more, but I have the memory of something that doesn't have a good memory. For now, wallow in this brilliance until we decide you're ready for Million Dollar Ideas IV: The Reckoning.
