Random Thought Round Up

I have not been able to hold an entire thought from start to finish for the past week. My To-Do list looks like someone started writing a flurry of well-intentioned sentences and was hastily and repeatedly removed from the vicinity of the list, whether by emergency or maybe just good old fashioned spontaneous combustion. I get a quarter of something done and then either lose my stamina and need to take a nap or get distracted by a shiny object. It has taken me three weeks to get my insurance switched from California to Arizona, and though I have finally made arrangements with my new agent, I have let the paperwork sit, undownloaded, in my email inbox for five days. All I have to do is print it and then fax it. But, see, that would require me to actually plug my computer into the printer, print it, sign it, and then drive the half a mile to the local Staples outlet and have it faxed, which requires me to get dressed and work up the gusto to make small talk with the person behind the counter. Then there's the waiting for the fax to go through, the confirmation, the ringing up of my fax purchase. Gah, I need to rest just thinking about all that stuff.

So, insurance is in limbo. I have to get my new driver's license and my car registered before the end of September (any bets on when that's going to be done? I'll take October of 2012), write thank you notes for my past baby shower, look forward to another round of notes for next weekend's shower, put together the crib, paint, wash the baby's clothes and blankets, get a job, somehow fit in a couple of actual showers between now and November, make dinners, drink lots of water (which is really taxing for some reason), and go to yoga everyday. I just don't know how I'll get it all done. I feel like I had more time and energy to get things done when I was fully employed.

I've been thinking a lot about employment lately. It's been approximately 10 and a half months since the last time I had to wake up in the morning and go to work. Sounds awesome, right? It's not. I mean, it's nice having an open schedule for as many naps as I can muster the energy to take, but it's not really all that intellectually challenging. I would like to be working. But see, having this big ol' baby belly kinda puts a kink in the ol' job hunt. No one is gong to hire me right now on account of the fact that I won't even be able to start working until 2012. I guess I'll have to save up for those faxes to the insurance agent.

To top it all off, when I do have a complete thought in this little head of mine, it's been a morbid one. I really hope these  completely random and vivid thoughts of doom are a normal symptom of pregnancy, because I think it's a little too late for me to become a melancholy emo kid with black nails and white makeup. Plus hanging out at the cemetery in this kind of heat isn't good for the pastey skin that I'll need to pull off all that black clothing. I don't know why I've been imagining horrible things happening to me as of late, but these thoughts are vivid and fully fleshed out. I actually played out the scenario of what would happen yesterday if I died while at yoga. The lights were dim, people were focusing and breathing rhythmically...would they notice I wasn't? Who would call 911 when my heart just gave out on me? Would they make it to me in time? Would the baby survive? Would my yoga instructor have to ride in the ambulance with me? Would they have to give everyone in the class a refund for the day, or pay them a trauma stipend for having to sit there as I did the "Stiff as a Board" pose better than anyone ever? Why am I even thinking this stuff? On the way home from yoga, after not dying, I watched a car blow through a red light ahead of me. Then my brain was off and running on the tangent of my vehicular demise at every stop light between where I was and where I wanted to be. My poor car would be totaled. I would be dead. How tragic for everyone...because my car is really cute and it would be a shame to ruin it. God, I really hope this is just a phase due to all the crazy hormones.

If I die from carpal tunnel, I hope it's not because of this post. It would be a shameful legacy to leave. Shhh...do you hear that? Yep, it's a nap calling.